Assisting the author today: Phil Amrahd
Richard Malkin, taxi cab driver, age 46, New York, New York: “Yesterday I went into a thrift store and tried on women's jeans. I am a size six. I was heartbroken to discover I am not a size five.”
*Related: you can view Richard's obituary on page 3.
Sam Shepard, doorman, age 59, Los Angeles, California: “When I was twelve years old I tore the legs off of my pet frog and blamed it on my dog. Mr. Hoppy was no longer hoppy. He lived for six more years. Occasionally he would look at me accusingly, and the guilt drove me to quit high school and become a doorman. Every time I turned on Frogger, I would hear a slow moan coming from his tank...I couldn’t tell if it was a coincidence or if it was his form of escapism, though I don’t believe frogs are capable of understanding escapism.”
Theresa Littleton, retired, age 73, Ontario, Canada: “Last week I bought drugs from a youth on the street. I had never used drugs before, and I have never felt more alive. I think I punched my husband in the throat. He’s been dead for five years. Who did I punch!?”
Carmen Musifun, age 23, flight attendant, Sydney, Australia: “The other day I promised a bunch of people who read this thing I do that I'd grant them a wish. I am in some serious trouble. F***.”
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